


A Place to Return to

by dearfriendicanfly



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Post-Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions, so i watched dsod and cried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27566812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearfriendicanfly/pseuds/dearfriendicanfly
Summary: "All souls have a place to return to... including yours." Atem's voice is quiet and heavy as he moves his piece into the House of Horakhty. "You can't stay here, Kaiba. You have to go home."Kaiba has overcome time and space to settle the score with his fated rival. He would appreciate it if Atem would stop trying to teach him valuable life lessons in the middle of their game.
Relationships: Atem & Kaiba Seto, Kaiba Seto & Yami Yuugi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	A Place to Return to

"It's your move, Kaiba."

"I know," Kaiba snaps. He stares daggers at the game board, trying very hard to ignore the smile tugging at the corners of Atem's mouth. Kaiba doesn't see what's so funny about any of this. He expected Atem to be more... well, frankly, more impressed. He _assumes_ it's not every day that somebody figures out how to transcend time and space to visit the afterlife. Not that you would know it, the way Atem reacted. Not a single _wow_ or _cool_ or even an _I knew you would find your way here, my fated rival. I have long awaited this day. Also, cool duel disk. That's a very sleek design._

No, Kaiba made the most perfect dramatic entrance of his entire life, strutting right through the palace gates without a word, and what did Atem do? He _smiled_ and waved Kaiba in like one might invite a friend in for a cup of tea and gossip. Introduced him to all of his other spirit friends. Tried to give Kaiba a tour of the palace as if he were a tourist on vacation. And when Kaiba had enough and told Atem what he came for, Atem just smiled again and brought out a _board game_.

"I... I came to _duel_ you," Kaiba said then, bewildered that he even had to explain it. "To defeat you at _Duel Monsters_."

And Atem just said, "No."

" _No?!_ "

"No. I think I would rather play Senet."

"But I—!"

"My palace, my choice of game. I _am_ the Pharaoh here, you know. But if you win, I'll duel you."

So here they are now, sitting quietly at a game board when they could be having the most epic duel literally of all time. But if Atem would prefer to have Kaiba quite literally beat him at his own game, then fine. Kaiba can be flexible. He stares at the board and its 30 squares, arranged neatly into three rows of ten. He stares at the game pieces — four with rounded tops, four flat. He stares at the four throwing lots in his hand. He stares silently for quite some time, a deep scowl twisting his features, before coughing quietly.

"...I don't know how to play."

Atem raises an eyebrow, not even bothering to hide his amusement. "Well, obviously."

"Spare me the smack talk and just tell me how it works."

Atem raises his hands in surrender and chuckles quietly to himself. "All you had to do was ask, Kaiba." He holds out a hand for the lots. When Kaiba hands them over, his fingertips brush Atem's palm, but he feels nothing. Nothing like he ought to, anyway. He would be hard pressed to put it into words, but everything feels insubstantial here, even Atem. Even himself. It's a little disorienting, and he tries not to think too hard about the lack of physicality in this dimension. It's not important, anyway. What's important is the game.

He watches as Atem demonstrates how to throw the lots. They land on the table, two of them with the dark, rounded side facing up, two with the lighter flat side.

"That means I can move forward two spaces," Atem explains, and does so. He chooses one of the pieces with the rounded tops, leaving the flat ones for Kaiba. "Now you try."

Kaiba scoops up the lots from the table and tosses them. They land with all the dark sides facing up.

"Ah, good throw," Atem says, nodding his approval. "You can move five spaces and then go again."

"Lucky me," Kaiba says drily. He moves his first piece five spaces ahead, jumping over Atem's piece. "...How do I win the game?"

"Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Atem's eyes glitter with humor. "But the goal is to move all your pieces off the board. It's... a bit like the final journey of the soul. The board is the river, and exiting means safe passage to the next life."

"Hmph. Is that so." Atem is looking closely at Kaiba, as if to gauge his reaction. Kaiba keeps his expression neutral and gives him nothing to look at. When he rolls again, it's a three, and he moves forward again. The game board is quite small, he thinks. It's only taken him two rolls to make it halfway across.

The square he lands on has a hieroglyph carved into it, but whatever it was that once allowed Kaiba to read such things seems to have left him. He looks to Atem, who answers before he can even ask.

"That's the House of Rebirth. It's a safe space, so I can't overtake your piece as long as it stands there." He throws the lots, and is allowed to move three spaces. He moves one of his other pieces into position right beside the first one.

_This is boring,_ Kaiba thinks. He throws the lots again. Another five. _It's too easy._ He throws again, this time with all four light sides facing up. 

"You can move four spaces and throw again," Atem explains, sitting back and eyeing Kaiba closely.

Kaiba does so. This time, he throws a two. He lands on a space with another hieroglyph, but this time even he can guess what those three wavy lines mean.

"That is the House of Water." Atem smiles, a little sadly. "You drown, and your piece goes back to the House of Rebirth."

Kaiba glares daggers. "You could have told me that before I made my move."

"I could have," Atem admits. "But some lessons we must learn the hard way, don't you think?"

"I think this game is ridiculous. I came here to duel."

Atem leans back, arms folded and eyebrows raised. "Does that mean you're giving up, Kaiba?"

Kaiba's face twists sourly. He chews his cheek as if he were chewing on Atem's words, and the taste seems to be quite bitter. He shoves the lots toward Atem and sits back in his chair. "Your move," he spits.

Atem smiles again, but it's still tinged with something too adjacent to pity for Kaiba's liking. The game goes on, and Kaiba learns the names of all the other decorated spaces: the House of Rejuvenation, the House of Three Truths, the House of Atum, and the House of Horakhty. He learns that when you land on a square with an opponents piece, they switch positions, but you can only jump over a piece that is sitting next to another piece of the same type. In the case of three pieces all sitting beside each other, you cannot pass or overtake them at all, you can only wait. The game is more strategic than he initially thought, but he can't say he enjoys it much. It takes too long. He wants to finish this quickly and have his duel.

Kaiba throws the lots. Three light sides facing up, three spaces. One of Kaiba's pieces is stuck in the House of Atum, two more blocked by Atem's pieces. There's only one piece he can move, right into...

"The House of Water," Atem says softly. "You must return to the House of Rebirth."

"I know how it works," Kaiba snaps, slamming his piece back into the space with far more force than necessary. "Don't patronize me, Yugi."

It takes Kaiba a moment to realize his mistake. Atem's eyes go wide, and Kaiba lets out a hiss of air. "I meant—"

"No," Atem says quickly, and his eyes soften with something like... gratitude, perhaps. "No, it's fine, it's just... been a long time since anyone called me by that name." Something flickers across Atem's features that Kaiba can't put a name to, but it makes him feel cold and sick. "Thank you," Atem says quietly, and Kaiba wishes that he didn't.

"Whatever," Kaiba mutters. "Just take your turn."

"...All right." Atem throws a four, which grants him another turn. Next, a five, and yet another extra turn. Kaiba watches with that same cold, sickening feeling as one of Atem's pieces exits the board.

"Safe passage," Atem murmurs.

Kaiba snatches the lots and throws them jerkily. He rolls a three, which lands him on the same square as one of Atem's pieces. He sets his opponent back with great satisfaction... only for Atem to throw another five and overtake him once again. It's hardly another minute before he's moved a second piece off the board and into the afterlife.

On Kaiba's next turn, he drowns once again.

"This is absurd," Kaiba mutters, standing up from his chair and pacing around the room. His hands are shaking, so he clenches them at his sides. It's strange. He can't feel them trembling, can't feel the force of his own muscles clenching against it. But he can see it, clear as day, and so can Atem, he thinks sourly. "I didn't come here for this."

Atem nods slowly. His eyes are cloudy as he stares at the two pieces that now sit safely on the table, peaceful in their rest. "...I know what you came here for. But I can't give you what you want, Kaiba."

Kaiba shoots the Pharaoh a withering glare, his arms crossed belligerently over his chest. "Oh? And what do _you_ think I want?"

Atem sighs, resting his elbows on the table, his chin in one hand. He looks... tired, Kaiba thinks, which only makes him more angry. What is it that he finds so _unreasonable_ about Kaiba? Why shouldn't Kaiba want this?

_Doesn't Atem want this?_ says a voice in the back of Kaiba's head, and he tries very, very hard to ignore it.

"I think you want to surpass... well, everything. You think this is something you can conquer, but it's... it's not, Kaiba. It's just something you have to accept."

"I _have_ accepted it. I accept that you're never coming back, which is why _I_ came to _you._ "

"Hmm, yes, well... call me crazy, Kaiba, but taking a rocket ship to the afterlife doesn't exactly scream _acceptance_ to me."

"Enough." Kaiba sits back down in his chair, his whole frame trembling now with anger and... something else he would rather not name. "Laugh at me all you want. We'll see which of us is laughing after I've beaten this stupid game. It's your move."

Atem lets out a slow breath. He tosses the lots and moves his last two pieces to stay beside each other and block Kaiba from moving forward.

Kaiba lets out a snarl when he throws another three. His piece, so close to the finish line, stays in the House of Atum, his other pieces blocked by Atem himself. "Must you always stand in my way?" Kaiba hisses.

Atem shakes his head, his hands folded atop the table, thumbs slowly circling each other. "...I've only ever wanted to help you," he says softly.

_A great help you've been,_ Kaiba thinks bitterly. _What did all that talk about friendship and unity mean to you, in the end? What did it matter, when you knew all along that you were going to..._

Atem ferries yet another piece across the river to safety, and Kaiba is so angry it feels like he could be sick with it. "This isn't fair," he says, and he hates the way that his voice trembles.

"...I know," Atem murmurs. "I'm sorry. It... It never is."

"What kind of point are you trying to make? Or are you just trying to rub my nose in it? Is it funny to you?"

"No, of _course_ not—!"

"Then _what?!_ What is it?! Why are you— you're _toying_ with me! I came here to duel, to prove I've _surpassed_ you, not to be made a joke of!" And then the anger morphs into something different, something far less easy to control. The bottom drops out from Kaiba's stomach, and it feels hard to breathe as he looks at Atem and those sad, ancient eyes. Kaiba's voice cracks as he asks, "Does it mean nothing to you that I came here?"

The words seem to cut Atem far more deeply than Kaiba expected them to. The Pharaoh's eyes well up with something other than tears — is this even the kind of place where one can shed tears? — and he stands to his feet, mouth parted as if to speak. When no words come to him, he just lets out a breath — if it can even be called a breath. Kaiba feels increasingly confused, unsure of _what_ exactly is standing before him, or where he's standing, or what Kaiba himself even is anymore. And then suddenly Atem is standing right in front of him, and his hand is resting on Kaiba's arm, and Kaiba thinks maybe he can feel the ghost of it there, warm and gentle. "It means _everything_ to me," Atem says, his voice quiet and hoarse. "I have never and will never forget you."

For a moment, Kaiba simply stands there, stunned and pale. His mouth twists with all the words stuck in the back of his throat, his eyes wide and almost _fearful._ And then he roughly shakes off Atem's grip and walks right past him, sinking back into his chair at the table. "...It's still your move," Kaiba says coldly, not looking at him.

Atem gazes back at his friend, eyes dark and clouded with so many things — sorrow, guilt, longing, not even Atem can name them all. And then he slowly sits back down in his own chair, nodding. "So it is," he says softly. 

He tosses the lots. Four. He moves his final piece into the House of Rejuvenation, and prepares to throw again. He's so close to the finish line, and Kaiba can't stop him.

"Why?" Kaiba's voice is unlike Atem has ever heard it. 

Atem lets the lots fall from his hand. Another four. He'll get to throw again.

"All souls have a place to return to... including yours." Atem's voice is quiet and heavy as he moves his piece into the House of Horakhty. "You can't stay here, Kaiba. You have to go home."

Kaiba buries his face in his hands, crumbling beneath the weight of it all. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to stand tall and proud. He was supposed to defeat the Pharaoh, to prove that he was strong enough to move past this. That he didn't _need_ Atem anymore. He was supposed to be strong for them both.

Instead, his own weakness overcomes him. He doesn't even have the strength to lift his head and watch Atem's final move. He hears the clatter of the lots, a soft scratch of wood against wood, and then silence.

"I used to be different," Kaiba mutters bitterly, his voice muffled by his own palms. "I wasn't afraid like this. You poisoned me."

"Throwing something away before it can be taken from you isn't courage," Atem says softly. "What you're doing now, facing that pain... _that_ is courage."

"I don't _want_ it. I don't want to feel like this."

"...I know. I'm sorry."

"You _lied_ to me. You talked about... about _friendship_. About being stronger when you're not alone. And then you just _left_." As it turns out, Kaiba thinks dimly, this _is_ the kind of place where one can shed tears. 

"I... I don't want to go back there alone..."

And then Kaiba's hands suddenly aren't covering his face anymore. Atem has reached across the table and gently pulled them away, looking at Kaiba with tears of his own glinting in his eyes. "You're never alone, Kaiba. There are people back home waiting for you. You only have to go to them."

And though Kaiba doesn't want to, he thinks of Mokuba, waiting all alone for the one person who was always supposed to be there for him. He thinks of Yugi, and how even after all of the old wounds that Kaiba had selfishly ripped open, he still looked at Kaiba so gently as he tried to make him _understand._ How can Kaiba go back and face them now, after everything?

"They won't want me there," he whispers.

Atem shakes his head, letting go of Kaiba's hands. "They need you just as much as you need them. You're stronger than you realize, Kaiba... You always have been."

Kaiba looks down at the game board. Atem's pieces have all moved on. His own are still stuck in the House of Atum and the House of Water. Grieving, drowning, dying by his own hand. Without really thinking about it, he moves his piece back where it belongs. The House of Rebirth.

Atem looks at Kaiba with a crooked smile, and it's no use in trying to hide the pain. "It's time to say goodbye."

"I don't even know how to get back," Kaiba says hollowly.

Atem holds out a hand, standing to his feet beside his friend. "You just have to trust me."

And though Kaiba is loath to admit it, he _does_ trust him. He always has. But he isn't sure if he can trust himself to do this.

"We're doing it together," Atem reminds him, as if that crack in his voice isn't enough to remind Kaiba of how much it all pains Atem. "You _can_ do this. It's going to be all right."

Kaiba stands slowly to his feet. A part of him wants to send it all flying — the table, the game board, everything in the room. It wants to demand that Atem let him end this on his own terms, let him try to convince himself that he can _beat_ this, somehow. But there's another part of him that's sick to death of losing to his own anger. 

He reaches for Atem's hand like a drowning man, for the sake of just this one small victory.

For the first time since Kaiba got here, when Atem grips his hand, Kaiba _feels_ it. Solid and strong.

A warm, golden light envelops him. Kaiba can feel it deconstructing and reconstructing him all at once, sudden and yet slow, like a roll of thunder following a lightning strike. He clutches Atem's hand tightly, but even that changes shape over and over again as Kaiba realizes that this is it. 

"Goodbye," he croaks, unsure if Atem can even hear him.

And as he careens back to earth, back where he belongs, he thinks he can hear Atem's voice just one last time.

_Thank you, my friend, for finding me... Here, at the place where souls meet._

**Author's Note:**

> so..... dark side of dimensions, huh............ O/—<


End file.
